It was Halloween weekend of 2007, and I had plans to play my favorite childhood game. Ding Dong DITCH! Otherwise known as DDD by the cooler 12 year olds, is a complex game in which the premise calls for one individual to ring the doorbell of a clueless neighbor and flee the scene before being discovered. The uncontrollable factors of extra adult supervision and surplus of witnesses made this occasion the Super Bowl of DDD. However, I was determined to keep my title as the best darn ditcher in all of West Point Middle School.
The first target of the night was Mr. Harris, our technology teacher who loved to assign homework on weekends and had an unwavering disdain for fun. Mr. Harris’s house was considerably large for an unmarried man and contained a driveway that seemed of equal size to an airport runway. It stood in isolation from the rest of the houses on the street and was located directly across from a cornfield.
As protocol dictated, my friends hid in the bushes as I walked up to the porch and proceeded to ring the doorbell. On the front door mat there was a bowl full of candy with a note that read “Please Take One.” I reached down and took 4 pieces because I’m just that dude. Just as my finger touched the bell, car lights appeared at the start of the driveway.
CODE RED, CODE RED! The car was quickly approaching and I needed to get out of there. I frantically hopped off the porch and dashed into the cornfield. Rookie Mistake. As I ran deeper and deeper into the field, I began to lose sense of direction. I could still vaguely see the car lights but I couldn’t quite tell how far I was from the house.
I figured the best idea would be to just wait it out. I stood peeping through the corn for about five minutes but the car lights were still on. Then it happened; I saw the first set of glowing eyes. Then two more appeared and another two until I was completely surrounded by a sea of glowing eyes. The eyes began to move closer as I could hear footsteps nearing.
I whispered out in a nervous tone, “Yo guys this isn’t funny man!” No response.
The eyes kept moving forward. “Seriously yall, stop it! You are going to get us caught.” No response.
“Mr. Harris is that you?” Silence.
At that point I had done enough inquiry and decided it was time to get out of there. I started to run as fast as I could because this black kid was not dying first in this scary movie. I ran for what seemed like miles as the eyes continued to follow me, but I soon came to an unclimbable fence. Chest heaving, I paused. Took a breath. I decided to turn and face whatever multi-eyed creature was following me. I was scared out of my pants but I was ready to fight my way out of whatever or whoever was after me.
As the eyes got closer and closer, I clenched my fists and stationed my feet. The eyes got as close as they were going to get and came to halt. I was finally able to see what creature I was running from. There it stood, right in front of me. The biggest gosh darn Bambi-looking deer I have ever seen in my entire life.