Cockney:Opening Remarks

Wotcha ladies and gentlemen. lets be ‘onest none of us wanna be ‘ere today, but i’m ‘ere ter tell ya why ya should vote for me for president. Overlookin’ the bloody fact that i’m not even from this country, I fin’ I would expand your forgiven politics…if ya kna wot I mean. I’d fix your idea of ‘ealthcare and be able ter sound more ridiculous than sum of the bloomin’ ovver candidates ter procure the present and last bit of public attention for the part. And none of ya ‘ave ter worry abaht me takin’ a vacation ter scarper off to go golfin’. I ‘ate ter waste tax payer dough for people ter watch me put a ball through a ball thro’ a bloody window. And mates, I promise not ter be difficult ter understand in any of me policy decisions exceptin’ in me accent. ‘eaven and ‘ell that’s abaht aw that i’ve got floatin’ ’round up ‘ere ter talk abaht. so go out a’ vote for me, unless there’s a line, lookin’ at ya ‘rizona!


Thank ya and goodnight!

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