Category Archives: ThisIsWhyI’mBroke.com

Candid Confessions of a Minimalist 

You wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at my closet, but I’m a minimalist. Okay, maybe I’m an aspiring minimalist. If you can see past the mountains of Steve Maddens and patterned ties, then you’ll realize I’m trying to live a simplistic lifestyle. You see, the trick is to exude luxury but practice frugality. Essentially, I’m a human peacock. This is the precise reason I had a hard time picking an item on ThisIsWhyImBroke.com.

One could make a case for buying any item on that website but when everything is special, nothing seems special. Everything starts to blend in together as unusual novelty items or gag gifts. Although, amid all of the quirky items on the website, you are bound to find something that screams, “How did I go my whole life existing without this thing?”

I believe the only way I will ever fully embrace a minimalist lifestyle is by forcing myself to live in such a manner. I think the perfect way to do this is to build a tiny house. So, when I came across the building plans for a tiny house on the website, I had to take the plunge.

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For $350 I thought I was getting a tiny house, but apparently that’s only enough to cover the plans for making the house. In an ironic twist, becoming a minimalist looked like it was going to be very expensive. Fortunately, the plan I chose included the descriptive steps on how to construct a tiny house that was pet friendly, solar powered, and harvested rainwater. Talk about being off the grid! A house that small and efficient is the perfect first step to using less resources in my life. On second thought, a tiny house seems like a good fourth or fifth step. Although, when I do decide to take that giant leap, ThisWhyImBroke.com will be reason I can invite company to my tiny house and say, “This is why I’m rich!”

And So It Begins With Wonder…

Thisiswhyimbroke.com is one of the most ridiculous sites I have ever been on. However, my trip down buyer’s remorse lane began as my professor says philosophy did, with wonder. I spent entirely too long scrolling through tons of pages of things that I could see myself buying, things that I could see my family or friends buying or things that I could never see the need for, ever. As I kept scrolling down, the ever present top menu bar drew my attention one to many times. I realized that next to the “popular” items tag, which I had been previously been scrolling through, were two page options of “Gifts for Men” followed by ♂ and the page “Gifts for Woman” followed by you guessed it, ♀.

Now being who I am, (a strong, independent, feminist, female who “don’t need no” gendered product placement) I was instantly intrigued by the idea that even on a website so ridiculous as thisiswhyimbroke.com they had gendered sections that followed the typical male/female gender split when it comes to strange and expensive gifts. In the female side everything from the first five to ten pages was strictly beauty products and sexual “gifts” that would not only be incredibly inappropriate to receive but are made not for the woman but for her significant other or partner almost unequivocally. But that’s not the page from which I chose my object to spend all my rent money on. No, in between all the anatomical jokes, BBQ tools, gun shaped objects and for some reason chocolate flavored whiskey, I had a tough choice ahead of me.

Finally, after trolling through what felt like miles of brown and black packaging with bold white text, I had it narrowed down to three objects. The military diaper backpack, the men’s yoga mat, and hand scrub for men were my final contestants. And after extensive thought I settled on the cheapest option, because why break the bank while creating a social commentary on the ridiculousness of overly gendered products?

If you guessed that my product of choice is the Organic Man Hand Scrub, you’re right! The website describes this product as, “Keep your manly hooks clean without feeling emasculated by using this rough hand scrub for men. Handmade from natural ingredients, this organic scrub softens and exfoliates the skin without leaving behind a feminine scent.”

il_fullxfull-973889080_j7mhI for one have never worried about losing my femininity by perhaps scrubbing my hands with man hand scrub, but I guess this product will teach me to be more cautious in my sanitary purchases. Clearly, I have been wasting my potential for strength and a more respectable, manly scent by not purchasing “for men” soaps and shampoos. I wonder if the scrub comes with instructions for how to de-woman the tap water that is needed to use this product too, or if the men who use it are just counseled to only use boiling water to prevent from immediate “emasculation”?

But all jokes aside folks, over gendering, or even just gendering, products creates a binary that is just not needed in the world today. There should be no pressure put on the men in our world that says that they can’t enjoy smelling like calming lavender instead of bacon. There should be no worry based on the products someone uses, that they are going to lose everything that they hold dear to themselves in how they regard their own gender. I encourage you all, men and women to confront this idea of “this is only for this gender because…”, because superheroes are awesome and should be for everyone, as should organic hand scrubs.

 

 

 

Hide your credit card, folks…

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Taking a trip through the archives of ThisIsWhyI’mBroke.com may not seem like the best idea for a broke college student, but hidden amongst the obsolete, functionally redundant, and patently absurd are some true gems. Sunscreen drones, runaway alarm clocks, real-life laser lightsabers—there’s something for every kind of person. But what to choose? While the edible spray paint and remote control tarantula had real potential, when the sleek Cacoon hanging nest crossed my screen, I was done for. With my ragged, sap-stained double-wide hammock dangling limply in my peripheral vision, I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hang in comfort—and style.

A red Cacoon swinging in the desert.

Are you thinking about joining the legions of intrepid students who hang up their hammocks and study on the Quad, but worried about the lack of suitable pairs of trees? Worry no longer! For a mere $300 (you don’t really need that one textbook, right?), you won’t have to concern yourself about things like distance between tree trunks—simply find a strong limb and string up the Cacoon! You’ll be swinging pretty in no time.

The Cacoon comes from a burgeoning niche of makers of suspended “nests” and “hangouts,” but sets itself apart in form and quality. Featured on such diverse sites as HomeDIT, Design-Milk, TrendHunter, and High Snobiety, the Cacoon has been making waves since it first came on the scene in 2013. Inspired by the hanging nests of the Weaver bird, the creators say “you too can hide away, sheltered and cocooned, but still in touch with your surroundings.” (Oh, have I mentioned you can sleep in it too?)

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With a host of sizes, colors, and forms (try the indoor version if you’ve got high ceilings, or the double-doored Songo for a more open feel), the Cacoon also has numerous accessories available—doors, bug nets, and free-standing tripods so you can use it even if you can’t find a tree! [Please note that we do not suggest setting up large free-standing structures on the Quad, and cannot be held responsible if you are chased down by campus police.] The standard Cacoon is the perfect size for you and your bookbag, and has an important advantage over hammocks, because its upright construction means that you won’t be constantly shifting and sighing as you attempt to actually be as comfortable as you want to look!

Enjoy the attention—or don’t, if you’d rather close the door—as you kick back and study in comfort and class. If that’s not worth a bit of loan money, I don’t know what is!

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Why spend money on food or gas when you can have…

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As the TAD writing team returns for fall semester, so does our silliness. For this month’s blog we will attempt to persuade the other poor souls in college why our chosen items from ThisIsWhyI’mBroke.com is necessary in their lives.  And so, down the rabbit hole of very cool, but very unnecessary items I went, emerging into a world where panda onesies, offensive fortune cookies and inflatable bumper soccer existed!

Amidst the camera lens coffee mugs, deluxe mermaid tails, bubble wrap calendars, and target practice alarm clocks, I finally found something my heart just couldn’t say no to: a USB typewriter.  For a mere $799, you’ll be able to write in style while satisfying your inner hipster!  The real question isn’t why you should buy this practical tool, it’s why you shouldn’t.  Who needs money for food or gas when you can own a USB typewriter?!

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Ladies and gentleman, forget soulless Mac laptops that all look the same, you can add personality and diversity to your workflow.

Rated highly as a “groundbreaking advancement in the field of obsolescence” by those who sell it, this outstanding product represents the holy matrimony of manual and digital.  The USB typewriter lets writers type out their thoughts on paper even as it electronically records to an SD card.  Not to mention, this versatile device can also function as a keyboard for your desktop or tablet computer and iPad, while Bluetooth allows users to connect to smartphones as well.

Rave reviews have poured in all over; it’s been featured on NPR, Wired, CNN, was named one of the “Top iPad Accessories” by PC Magazine, and even Martha Stewart has joined the bandwagon.  A product of this caliber might even be something that Kanye would love more than Kanye!

The USB typewriter will earn you the envy of everyone on the block, or at least everyone in your office when you bring that bad boy in to work.  Indulge yourself or a loved one, but mainly yourself, in this functional and practical treat.  Join the cult that is the USB Typewriter.

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